less than 12 hours i’m gonna be on those college days again. i’m not really passionate about the idea of how i’m going back to college again,study and stuff. since i was in a bad social life with my college pals. and,since i realized that i haven’t been on a trip even for once along this holiday,i kinda feel not ready to face tomorrow. well,actually for the study part,i really can’t wait to do it tomorrow. because i am trying to push myself to earn a good result for this semester. no more distraction. actually,with all these lack-of-social-life thing,it’s kinda more effective for me to study harder because i don’t have to be worry if i forgot to do my homework caused by hanging out too much with my friends. since i don’t know who my friend is,well it’s easier i guess. but,this semester i hope i’ll get a new mate. because,actually it feels really bad leaving my old friends in the previous. and it’s suck by the way. aaaaand….about mood booster. nah! we don’t have a quality conversation&communication anymore. so,screw him (even if i actually missed him).

sooo……what did i do today to embrace the new college year?? well,if i should tell you guys,today wasn’t really well actually. maybe,sucks. but,i did something that cheer up my night and funny enough to makes me smile and laughs. i remember about my old days about 3 years ago…or 4 maybe. i used to like a guy named Pedro so much(i used to post about him years ago and that’s embarrassing). and i wonder what if we get together that time. i ever imagined about that but it was totally a guilty pleasure. now,i did it once again. i imagine about how us finally being a happy couple in the end. how i finally have him as mine. how everything looks so adorable,because we are a couple. how we ride his blue motorcycle. how i was so into him so much. how my ex play a role for our togetherness. then remembering my ex,and our times and how fool i was. and guess what? i feel really happy for doing that. because it’s actually cheer me up. then i started to remembering things along that moment,and yes. i was a healthier and happier soul. i didn’t mind craving for someone so bad because i really really like him. i didn’t worry about taking the first step and fight for it. it taught me something. yeah. but it entertained me as well. and of course,that’s still embarrassing.

well,it’s fun enough to entertain me before i start mourning tomorrow.

and……what did i do and what was happened along these 2 months of holidaaay? not much,but still worth to do anyway. and,check these out:

cooking (or actually,baking)

choco lava cake for my mom’s birthday

vanilla cupcakes

red velvet cupcakes (yuck,i know….)

milk pie

green tea cupcake with chocolate frosting(this one taste really yummy. i even don’t believe myself if i could make something that soo delicious like this)

chocolate brownie(believe it or not,i baked this accidentally. and it taste sooooooo goood. i’m pretty talented,am i?

those are the food which i made. there’s still more actually,but i only have these pictures. and the latest one i baked was lemon cupcakes with white chocolate frosting on my birthday. well,baking is one of my hobbies and i’ve been not cooked since a really long time. so,it feels nice to have a chance to doing what you love again. baking….<3

draw my wall

this one is pretty lame. at first,i tried to draw the whole side of wall to make some wallpaper-alike. but it was undone before it finished. too bad…

trip across the town

and this is what makes me sad the most! i always wanted to go out of the town,being a backpacker,go to the beach or something……but,then i end up having a trip to Cimahi by train,which is technically out of the town,but you
can go there by a car and it only takes an hour an less and it’s my grandma’s hometown and also i used to school in there for few years and it means……..yes,nothing strange from that town. but,it’s okay. i trip out of the town by the way. and eventually,thanks to Adam who took time to have this trip with me.

i do another things actually,like doing hair spa,spending time with my girls,meeting some old friends and etc. but there’s still more that i haven’t done yet. that’s okay….maybe next time.

but what more important is,along this holiday i think about so many things. and it’s about fixing myself. nothing’s wrong with me,but i think this is the time where i should change. since the middle of 2010,i started act differently and maybe that’s what people called searching for identity. i haven’t find it yet,but from now on i should be more firm to myself. i should difference between what’s right and wrong. and mostly,i should be more prepare for the future because it’s not what you’ve been dreaming like when you’re a child. it might be tomorrow or the next hours. so brace yourself.

at last,all i can say is……….i hate leaving holiday. but,what can i do? since time machine is not invented yet,well then i should keeping up with the time. just go with the flow,then you’ll find the joy in it. sooo…..see you again,holiday!!! :D